Three decades

30. That's the age I'll be reaching tomorrow (unless I die of a heartattack during the next few hours).

I think it's a pretty important birthday, a landmark in a man's life. Not because it's the third decade of life which is funky enough, but rather because it has several other quite remarkable meanings. The first one, being that it's almost half-way through of a man's living expectation. So somehow, I felt like it would be time to have a look at what I've done so far, what I did with all that time that was given to me by nature. And, well... I'd say that for now, I can't really complain.

I did alot of things that were important to me, accomplishing alot for myself and my personnal agenda. I've learned alot, taught myself and others as much as I could and knew about. I tried to be always the good guy people like to know and have as a friend and it all has proven to be very satisfactory, up to engaging, challenging and even passionnating. Of course, there have been bad turns, wrong steps I took and nearly regretted. I did some people wrong and I've hurt myself several times badly, either by being a bit too curious or too self-confident (and sometimes, plainly stupid). But even all this has offered me insights in my own self and has given me the needed experience that helped me to go on. All this made me stronger and I don't regret anything of it.

I saw many things that others would probably dream of seeing and feeling, landscapes of foreign countries, foreign cultures and traditions. I traveled alot... it opened my mind and fed my desires, my imagination and inspiration. I met people, I even lived with them and learned what it really means to understand and respect other people's way of life.

I had a big bunch of relationships through which I've learned what it was to love and care for another person beyond ones own well-being. I gave and received attention, passion and more. Maybe more than I was sometimes aware of. I was hurt but mostly by my own mistakes. This might yet be the weakest point of my life so far. My incapacity of truly accepting what my partner gives me without questionning it. But I still have plenty time to work on that.

I've created some things I consider as worthwhile and useful, or simply interesting. I truly engaged myself in creative processes which sometimes enriched some other people's lives for a couple of moments and even more. I managed to send messages out there through my work, messages of joy, humour, hope and compassion, criticism and, well, let's be honest, sometimes also of rage and frustration. Being able to share all this was the biggest gift of all to me. And I plan on doing even more in the future. Thank you to every each one of you who had a go with my creations. And even if pride is a sin, I AM proud of always have been faithful to my own self and never having sold my soul to the highest bidder. Count on me for keeping it like that until the end.

So! So far, I'm quite satisfied. Although one could say that there's always room for improvement. Sure, there always is, since nothing nor anyone is perfect. But isn't it what makes life so worthwhile? Trying to reach for perfection? I truly think it is. There's a nice saying I like to use in this context: It's not the goal which matters, but the road which will actually take you there.

Nothing's perfect and I surely ain't. I still feel like there's still much to do for me out there. For me, for others... for everyone. And I intend to fulfill as much as I can until I draw my last breath. I don't feel old nor used up. The glass is half filled, not half empty for me.

I'm 30 and still rockin', baby! :D