The Man Project

I had a nice and long chat last night with a friend of mine (hi Fanny!). During our discussions, she brought up a subject which led to a quite bothering female behavior... and that's what I'd like to talk about today.

One of my ex-girlfriends once told me: "A new man is always a new project". At first, I didn't really get the point. But after awhile, I understood the deeper meaning of this odd and mysterious sentence.

When a man gets into a relationship with a woman, he usualy doesn't spare much time thinking about it. Unlike when he buys a car for example, the man doesn't check the woman in and out to be sure not to have any trouble with it later on. To men, a relationship is like a mystery-box... either they decide to live with it cause it's not that bad, or they throw the whole thing away if it's not what they had expected. Simple and straight (men just have this awesome on/off mentality). Clearly: we buy the whole lot "as is" and live with the consequences.

Most women on the other hand, seem far more complicated. I often have this feeling that each flirt is like a exam or a test. Each and every word or behavior of yours is taken into account and added into a "good/bad" chart list. If the "good" side weighs more than the "bad" one, you have good chances to win this round and get to the next level (which is what we call a relationship or hell on earth).

BUT!!! My dear male brothers, if you thought that this weird mind-list just vanished after successfully passing the test, you're damned wrong! Our vicious female counterparts have other mean plans! And that's exactly where the "Man Project" starts...

Women can NOT live with men in their default configuration. They feel this urge to enhance the man they are with and to tranform him to their likings. The reasons for this behavior are probably quite simple: the mother instinct. Until a women gets a child, she has this oppressive need to nurse someone. So the man endorses the roles of the partner AND the child, until he finaly does his favorite job and offers his lovely but psychotic woman a kid to torture.. uh.. I mean, to educate.

The problem should be solved now, don't you think? But no!!! It's not that easy because women ARE overcomplicated creatures, always remember this for your own sake...

Once you thought the child would get all the.. uh.. attention, the woman still keeps on trying to modify your habits, wardrobe, friends, hobbies, aso. Now don't panic (or panic but show no fear.. women can smell fear just as good as any carnivore in wilderness). Know that women also use their male partners to show off their social status. So men should be reflections of the womans achievements. If you have problems to understand this subtile female behavior, just think of how men like to talk about the huge size of their monstrous penis, the price and maximum speed of their car and the number of women they managed to get into their bed in the last few days... yup! We're talking about competition here! And men are one of the women's way to compete with each other. It's quite understandable as would be a bit disgusting if women would compete the same way as as men do, measuring the size/depth of their genital apparatus with each other.. ugh.. what a horrible picture.

Now this all sounds much like I'd be defending the women's behavior. I'm not. I'm merely trying to expose the two sides of this cold war raging between men and women. My opinion is pretty simple...

Ladies, none of us are perfect and we know that. After years of painfull drill in our own mother's boot camp, the last thing we want is to be thrown back into it again. So leave us a bit of dignity and freedom, and you'll soon see that we can slowly adapt ourselves to the environnement you want to set up for us.

And to my dear brothers, know that all this oppressive behavior your female partner exposes towards you, doesn't have bad roots. It's all due to their overcomplicated reasonning and their partial inability to see you as a fully grown up man. And since women don't have a penis to compete with each other, do some efforts from time to time and show yourself as a real gentleman in presence of your partner's friends.